Amy’s 10 Worst Ways to Destroy a Musical Instrument
As you can see, I’ve been dealing with high anxiety surrounding musical instrument care. It really started a few months ago, when I opened my violin case to find that one of my bows had broken in half………..by itself……..without any warning signs. I still don’t know what to make of that. So, here it is……at least in my book……these are the ten worst ways to destroy a musical instrument.
1. Sit on it……For many instruments, that’s all it takes.
2. Drop it in the pool…….That’s right, practicing while lying on a floatee raft doesn’t get you anywhere.
3. Drop it down the stairs………Go for it. See what happens.
4. Stick candy in the holes…….I know that it’s great to have storage space for a late night snack but if you do utilize this resource…..you’ll need to start singing “Goodbye, Norma Gene.”
5. Paint it…….It’s especially effective when you also use a nice hardwood floor lacquer as a top coat.
6. Drill in attachments……..You could attach a Starbucks cup holder with built in straw. There would be no such thing getting tired during practice.
7. Tie it to your dog…….This is a great idea…..Ceaser Millan always says that your dog needs to feel useful—there’s nothing like having a dog caddy.
8. Turn it into a picture montage……Yeah, glue some pictures of your family and friends on the surface……What do they call that technique?–Decoupage. Musicians never have the privilege of working out of a personalized cubical–so you just gotta make the best of your resources.
9. Store it on the top of your station wagon while driving through Kansas….. ..You like tornado’s right?
10. Use it for target practice…….Sometimes, you need to get that tin can raised to a better height for you……back strain is a common hazard of taking part in target practice.
So with that…….I say happy Friday everyone! Hope you have a great weekend!
