Music. Do You Really Know What Your Love Is?
Thinking today……….yes………that’s what I do. In the middle of my preparing for an audition, I am thinking back to some days past that were painfully monumental to me. Auditions of Christmas past, Ebeneezer Scrooge. My memories have taken me on a tour, reflecting on moments when I let the opinions of others take charge. I guess the real question is, “Why?” Opinions are simply opinions–and cannot always be accurate nor appropriately given. But I allowed myself to take too many crushing opinions to heart—oh, yes…..and deeply.
I think that when you’re young, you either operate under assumption A.) everyone older than you knows more than you do so shut your yapper and sit down or B.) no one understands you therefore, nobody’s opinion but yours counts. You want a reality check—neither one of these assumptions alone are going to take you where you want to go in life. Life, in general, may require a little part A.) and a little part B.)—but mostly, a balance between the two.
That being said, when you find a passionate calling—ahem……maybe music for instance—it can be a lovely career and in your journey towards developing it–or even if you are a veteran of this career path already–periodically, you find extraordinary lovely criticism and rejection from various sources. The real question that you need to ask yourself is this…….Do You Really Know What Your Love Is? Hmmmm. Odd question……..I know. Let me tell you why I’m asking this question……do you love what you do enough…….that you would be willing to stare in the face of your deepest fear–and still persevere? I stared in the face of my deepest fear at one point…..and walked away defeated…….I let a troubling situation take over—but digging deeper—I allowed my fear to take over. My defeat from this period of time set me back mentally for a long time.
But back to the question……Do You Really Know What Your Love Is? Since my time of defeat, over the last few years I have transitioned from loving music…….to hating music (feeling wounded)………to loving it again. But I never really lost my love for the music, even though I thought I did…… You know what’s cool about that……I realized that music was a genuine passion of mine………something that was going to stick with me for the long haul……and when I realized that my love for playing music was unconditional—I knew that no matter what I might up doing for a “job” or whatever obsticales might come my way—I would never loose out—becuase I choose to never let this love of mine die. Call me a musical genious or call me the Maxwell House coffee conisour of the second violins, but the roads we choose in life are sometimes a result of our own decisions (running towards or away from fear)……and generally the most rewarding roads we choose to walk down are the scariest—–that being said, let me repeat the question…..Do You Really Know What Your Love Is?
